Hello everyone. I hope that 2009 ended well for everyone and that 2010 is opening up new doors. 2009 is a year to remember for me although I'd like to forget it! It started out great, looked like it was going to be 1 of our best years. We had set goals for the year and we were well on our way to accomplishing them. When I think back to January of 2009 Its amazing how much we accomplished in that 1 month. As a matter of fact a year ago today we were in Williamsburg, walking around, holding hands (something Dajon didn't do often) and just enjoying life. We didn't take our son because we had planned to have a weekend to ourselves because 2008 was such a hectic year. On this day a year ago I think back and I'm thankful and so blessed to have spent that day as if it was our last, we had no idea that a few days later our world as we knew it would change. I guess its true when they say you are given a sign and its up to you to accept it! Williamsburg was a very special place for us. Its the place we always went when we wanted to escape our everyday surrounding area. It's a place we enjoyed being and it's also where I went into labor with our son! So on this day we decided to there and say goodbye to the life he had known....forever, and welcome the new and improved man he had become. We bought all this candy at the candy store, we bought our favorite chocolate covered strawberries. We had decided this was not going to be a day of shopping and spending money, because we were getting ride of old habits. We enjoyed window shopping...and ok we spent a little money BUT not on ourselves, it was on our son. The outlets were having major winter sales, so Dajon decided to purchase winter clothes our son would grow into and those clothes became his fall clothes. We laughed about my contractions, that I didn't know I was having, but when I realized it I kept saying we have to go to the Carter store before we go back home! Needless to say we weren't expecting the baby b/c according to my due date I still had exactly 21 days! So once we got to the Carter store I convinced him to go to a few more baby stores (LOL). I made it home and still didn't go to the Doctor for a few hours but sure enough I was in active labor and a few hours later we had our son! Those are the memories that keep me going through this time that we are apart.
When i look back I see so many signs that something was about to end our new fairy tale. I will forever be grateful for our last weekend together. We truly enjoyed each others company and had said we would do it more often. The night before his arrest when I came home from class they were both wrapped in each other's arms sound asleep and I didn't wake them. Now I wish I had come home cooked a big dinner and woke them up and talked all night! But it was peaceful. I let them sleep. He had cooked dinner and I ate my food, watched my soaps and got ready for the next day.................................
I'm glad this 1st year is over. In a few days it will be 12 months since Dajon has been gone. It hasn't been hard but it also hasn't been easy. Our son is getting older and wiser and he asks more questions. He tells me he wants his daddy, and I know in his heart his little mind is really speaking the truth. He wants to call him, yet he can't. I know that our biggest challenge is yet to come and that will be the distance that separates Dajon from his family. We will figure it all out in due time. For now I'm glad he is still alive and well and I know he is in a better place mentally. I still stand by and support Dajon because he still does the same for me. We have a duty to raise and protect our son and we will do that even if we are Separated by Bars.
Continue to support your loved ones. Its not about accepting the crime, its about accepting this is who they are and where they are at the moment. Dajon's past will always be his past but that doesn't mean he has to let it continue to ruin his life. Sure Society sees a criminal but I see someone totally different.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
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